7 Things Your Narcissist Says To Get You Back

7 Things Your Narcissist Says To Get You Back

We are all vibrational beings and this is how we attract people and situations. We are told that what we put out we get back, be careful what you think this is what you attract.

I believe you saw the red flags and you ignored them.

You are now left so confused, the words leaving their mouth are leaving you with a weird feeling; you used to understand these messages, this knowing of what was right and wrong when something felt ‘off’.

As an Empath or Highly Intuitive person, you have an inner knowing but during this relationship, you turned it off. If you felt something intuitively wasn't right and you mentioned it, you were told you were wrong or that you were too sensitive. You believed your intuition was wrong and now out of the relationship you have been left confused.

And this confusion continues to work for them; it’s easy to mistake their manipulation for a genuine desire to make things work, instead of a calculated manoeuvre it really is. Timed to perfection, they gain the attention they need and it also proves to them how powerful they are and that they still have control over your life.

This was a game - you didn’t have the rules…

And this part of the game is called Hoovering.

HOOVERING • The term used to describe being "sucked back in" following a DISCARD, just like a vacuum cleaner sucking up the dirt, the abuser attempts to get you back.

This is used during the DISCARD stage, to hook you back into the relationship, ensuring you are more focused on protecting the relationship than you are on yourself.

You might have been HOOVERED when you started to see who they really were, and what was going on. Or maybe you were QUESTIONING their behaviour, realising it wasn’t healthy. Perhaps when you were asking for guidance from friends and family.

The HOOVERING might have come at the end of the relationship if they sensed you were moving on; like a vampire, they came back in an attempt to hook you back in or drain you of the energy you have gained being away from them.

You were an OBJECT to them, something that they initially desired; so now they believe you belong to them and no one else is allowed to have you.

They changed their behaviour which gave you a false sense of security, and they allowed you to believe they really do love you, that they want you back and are the person you first met, your (MANUFACTURED) SOUL MATE.

These people are Master Manipulators, they are the consummate actors, putting on a mask and playing a role, hiding who they really are; some of the Red Flags would have been the mask dropping and you catching a glimpse of their true character.

1. “We are Soul Mates, we are meant to be together”

They love the idea of being Soul Mates and they love the attention they get from this statement. During the HOOVERING stage they may tell you they are sorry for the pain they have caused you and that they didn’t mean it, they never meant to hurt you, or they didn’t realise how important you were until after this happened.

They beg for your forgiveness, for you to give them another chance, they love you and they can’t imagine living life without you.

They love to see people in pain, it gives them a sense of power and they have to be in control of everything.

What they are really saying is…

They hadn’t realised how important you were until they were caught out. And they now realised how easy it was to get the attention they need from you. They have now realised your quality of attention is superior to the other person, or that they need to be more careful not being caught out again. They have now realised how easy it is to manipulate you.

They haven’t managed to suck out your soul yet, so you still have something to give them.

2. “I’ve decided to get help”

Perhaps before they had drained you of everything, you saw the Red Flags. When their mask dropped and you got a sneaky peek of who they really were. You might have highlighted some of their bad behaviour and out of desperation, they declare you were right and they have been thinking about what you said, and they understand how important it is to you and because you are Soul Mates and they can’t imagine living without you they want to make this work, so they’ve decided to go to see someone to help with their (insert the problem here).

What they are really saying is…

They have realised their mask dropped and you saw who they really are, and this is a tactic to hoover you back in. They know as an Empath you will do anything in your power to help anyone, however, they have no intention of going to counselling or getting help, and they know you will, of course, want to help them. There may be tears (crocodile of course), and you believe they are sincere. They secure a new mask in place.

Then the cycle starts again. They take you back to the Idealisation stage where you start to feel more secure; you may ask them when they are going to make an appointment or who they are going to speak to about (fill in the blank), they make an excuse and over time you forget, feeling secure in the relationship…

WARNING • don’t go to counselling with them

3. “You can’t do this on your own”

You are trying to do the ‘no contact’ you have heard about, and you get a message saying they don’t know if they can live without you and you shouldn’t be going through this on your own… Let me help you, we should be together.

What they are really saying is…

They are checking in with you to see how much pain you are in, they don’t care what type of attention they get, good or bad, its attention and if they can see they have caused it; which is the icing on the cake with the cherry on top!